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TEAM SATAN

The Team Satan Story

Team Satan formed during the 1995 Heat Wave in Chicago which claimed about six hundred lives in the city. It all began in the basement of the OFF-White House on Winthrop just north of Berwyn Avenue in Edgewater one hung-over July 4th morning. The original meeting between Chris Auman and Mike Wing was little more than a drunken exercise in futility and the 3-song For Kim: 666 Devil Rock cassette is proof. In February of '96, recent Virginia transplant T-Bux (aka Todd Uzel) begged and pleaded his way into the Devil Rock unit. Lori Kolb was the next to sign on, also joining the team in '96.

The group's only seven-inch record, "Devil Made Us Do It" b/w "1996" was recorded in the basement of the OFF-White house which was also the practice space of the Team as well as Vambo Marble Eye, New Rob Robbies, Smitten, and others. With no production values and muddy sound quality, the first release was hardly a milestone in recorded music, but over the next year, the Team wrote more songs and played more shows, usually at the divey Mexican restaurant slash bar, Big Horse.

The songs for the Team Satan cassette Junior Wing EP were recorded in 1997. The sound quality was abysmal and the graphics rudimentary at best—I think they call it DIY.

Sometime in 1997, Lori Kolb left the band and moved back to Richmond, Virginia. Fellow Virginian, John Peters (formerly of the RVA's great Hose Got Cable) stepped in on bass. This line-up played for a few months before Lori Kolb returned to Chicago and bass with T. Bux’s exit and Peters move to second guitar.

 

With John Peters in the group and Lori back in, the band got tighter and more focused and continued to practice and play out, moving on from the Big Horse to venues like the Empty Bottle, Beat Kitchen, and Lounge Ax.

 

On Memorial Day 1998, Team Satan recorded their first full-length at the Lab East Recording Scenario in Humbolt Park, Chicago. This would be engineer, Kris Poulin's first recording project in his new basement studio. Unfortunately the album, tentatively titled A Little More Down was never officially released, although all thirteen tracks appear on the Team Satan 1996-1998 CD-R.

With a full-length CD in the can, an appearance on the local cable access show Chic-A-Go-Go, and an Empty Bottle show booked, John Peters sold his amp and left town in the middle of the night. Team Satan played one last show with T. Bux at Lounge Ax and then threw in the towel. 

 

A Little More Down was released as a digital album on RoosterCow Records in 2015 and the Junior Wing EP was released by RoosterCow in 2023.

 

God bless Team Satan.

Browse the RoosterCow Records Discography

Team Satan Discography

Cassettes & 7-inch Singles

Team Satan For-Kim cassette cover
Team Satan Devil Made Us Do it cover
Team Satan Junior Wing album cover

For Kim: 666 Devil Rock
cassette

This completely ridiculous piece of music was recorded at the first meeting of Team Satan. It was played sloppily and the recording is absolutely horrific, however, the songs aren't very good either. The cassette cover, of course, is brilliant and was drawn in ballpoint by Mike Wing.

1) The Devil is Pleased

2) Johnny

3) Don't Fear the Devil

Chris Auman: bass, vocalsMike Wing: drums, vocals

Zero to Sixty in 73 Bands
Comp. CD (No!No!)

"(You're So) Apocalyptic"

Don't remember how this came about. Anyway, the Team posthumously contributed this song to a comp. which featured songs under one minute. Several seconds had to be clipped off the intro to "(You're So) Apocalyptic" to make it qualify, but it's an improvement overall.

Chris Auman: guitar, vocalsMike Wing: drums, vocalsLori Kolb: bass, vocalsJohn Peters: guitar, vocals

"Devil Made Us Do It" b/w "1996"

The Team's vinyl debut on OFF-White Records. The jacket is all black because the original line-drawing was maybe a little too detailed for the silk-screening process and consequently, it looked like shit. Each cover was painted over with India ink although some of the originals still remain in various basements and storage rooms. Years after the release of this seven inch, Mike Dixon created the alternate cover (seen below) which inaccurately lists the record label as RoosterCow, further fanning the flames in the RoosterCow/OFF-White Record Wars.

Chris Auman: guitar, vocalsMike Wing: drums, vocalsLori Kolb: bassTodd Uzel: guitar

Junior Wing EP
cassette

Junior Wing is a monkey, of course. A very bad monkey to be exact. The Junior Wing monkey is the mysterious creature who, after everyone has gone to sleep or passed out, opens a fresh beer, drinks half of its contents, then leaves the remainder on the table to be emptied by some chump the next morning. The cover for this cassette release was a xeroxed copy which was then filled in with a Sharpie. There might have been some Wite-Out involved too. Each cassette was dubbed separately on the old home stereo. Very lo-fi. Very lo-budget. Very Team Satan.

Side One:

1) Yeah, We're Team Satan

2) We're Not Those Kids

3) (C'mon Baby) Let's Sin

 

Side Two:

1) Death & Destruction

2) Mama Said (Not to Listen to Devil Rock)

3) Muy Malo Chunga (Very Bad Monkey)

 

Chris Auman: guitar, vocalsMike Wing: drums, vocalsLori Kolb: bassTodd Uzel: guitar

Zero to 60 seconds compilation CD

CDs, Digital LPs & Comps

Team Satan skull photo
Team Satan Live at Lounge Ax album cover
Team Satan A Little More Down LP

Team Satan 1996-1998

Just a big old mess of everything. The first eleven songs were recorded to 8-track in the basement of the OFF-White house. It's basically the Junior Wing EP plus "S.A.T.A.N." and then four real old songs that predate the cassette. The second part was recorded at Lab East: Kris Poulin's first recording job in Chicago. It's a shame this batch of songs never got an official release. Maybe someday... are you listening Dick Cockman? The last track is a live version of the song "John Peters", an ode to the unflappable Sneaky Petes who would later join the band, which is when we would have to stop playing it, as the song really irritated him for some reason.

Chris Auman: guitar, vocalsMike Wing: drums, vocalsLori Kolb: bassTodd Uzel: guitarJohn Peters: guitar, vocals

Farewell Reunion

No one in Team Satan knew this recording existed for years, but it did and it does. Recorded on some sort of hand-held device by a member of the band Fakir, this was the last live show of the re-assembled Team and features a song (track 4) that no one seems to remember writing or playing. It's been dubbed "The Devil Rock Stomp" for lack of a better title. The cover, provided by the Fabulous Fakir Boyz (as I like to call them) is not, in fact, Team Satan, but Booker Noe. Booker Noe did feature two TS members (the powerful Wing-Kolb combo).

Chris Auman: guitar, vocalsMike Wing: drums, vocalsLori Kolb: bassTodd Uzel: guitar

A Little More Down

On Memorial Day 1998, Team Satan, recorded their one and only full-length record at the Lab East Recording Scenario in Humbolt Park, Chicago with audio engineer Kris Poulin. Unfortunately, the Team disintegrated rapidly after its recording and the album was never officially released (although all thirteen tracks appear on the Team Satan 1996-1998 CD-R).

Fear not Devil Rockers & Bootknockers, for in the year of our Lord 2013, the full version of this historic recording became available as a download from the RoosterCow Records Bandcamp page.

Chris Auman: guitar, vocalsMike Wing: drums, vocalsLori Kolb: bass, vocalsJohn Peters: guitar, vocals

Team Satan Shows

1996

?/96 PHYLLIS MUSICAL INN
This was the debut of the Team back when we were only a three piece. We opened for the New Rob Robbies. The line-up was Todd "T-Bux" Uzel and myself on guitars and Wing on drums with Wing and myself handling the vocal duties.

 

What a mess. I remember the stage vibrating so much my vodka and soda tipped over during a song. I managed to get enough of those in me by the end of the night to make up for it. T-Bux was spitting beer on me onstage. Very disrespectful but not surprising. I think the immortal Mike Dixon was there. First time I ever laid eyes on him. I thought he was the guy who used to work at Wax Trax but I was wrong. People said we were great. We probably sucked. The Robbies needed to borrow Wing's PA, so putting Team Satan on the bill was brokered into the deal by Wing. Yeah, you can blame it all on The Robbies but they aren't together anymore. I know where to find most of them though.

?/96 BEDROCK'S
This show was with Bee Knees. Remember Bedrocks? Another club that Team Satan played that was literally demolished soon after. It was mostly a metal joint. It was pretty nondescript on the exterior but the interior music room was painted in some sort of fake stone. I think they were going for a castle motif. This show was kind of like a battle of the bands. I had to take a cab to the show straight from the Chicago Diner where all three of us in the band worked as cooks. Another show done as a three piece. Don't remember much of the performance except that people said we were great but we probably sucked. We had to borrow equipment which would become a theme with us for awhile. The barflies refused to turn around once during our entire set to watch. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we were awful... awfully brilliant!

 

7/13 GALLERY CABARET
"Thunder and Lightning Festival" with Jarvis Brown and Smitten. Not really sure why this was called "The Thunder and Lightning Festival" but it was. I think Mike Dixon had something to do with that. He made the flyers for it. Dixon was in Smitten at the time. Jarvis Brown featured Fergus Kaiser (who would later play with Lying in States) and Mark Morton (currently in Lamb of God). T. Bux was in that band too. And Tripp Hill.

 

Wing wanted to serve food at this thing so we set up a table and laid out some lame spread. I know there were deviled eggs involved, which is never a good idea.

Tripp from Jarvis Brown was drumming like such an absolute madman that he fell backwards off his drum stool during one song and before he could start another one, he grabbed an empty bowl from the buffet table and was seriously contemplating vomiting into it. He didn't. I thought they were fucking great.

 

I think this is the first show where Wing lit up a joint and passed it around to us before we started our set. That could have got us killed I think. The bar owner looked like he was capable of it. This was probably our first show with Lori Kolb on bass. Finally a four piece. We needed that extra piece of the puzzle, believe me. The deal was that the next person to walk through the door of our OFF-White practice space with a bass guitar would be our new bass player. That'd be Miss Kolb, bless her heart.

7/27 KIMBAL HOUSE
This show was in the basement of the house Fergus and T-Bux lived in off Kimball Avenue, way, way the fuck west of where everyone else lived. I think some Virginians were in town and Bux and Mark Morton re-formed their old band Fatty Love to play that night. We opened. I know Wing passed the joint around again and I was instantly too stoned to tune my guitar by ear and I had no tuner. This is the first show that I thought we really ripped everyone a new one. It was over in about ten red hot minutes. After our set we learned that some nut-job had just set off a bomb in Atlanta during some Olympic ceremonies or some such nonsense.

 

8/18 BIG HORSE
With Burn the Priest. Whoops, Team Satan really fucked this one up by getting too drunk and making fools out of ourselves in front of the band that would become Lamb of God. Mark Morton wasn't in the band yet, but he was in the audience. He was not amused. Afterwards, Wing and I tried to wipe the memories away with a bottle of tequila and you know what? It worked. Actually, it must not have because obviously I still remember.

 

9/16 GALLERY CABARET
Again with the mighty New Rob Robbies. This might have been the "Around the Monkey Festival," not sure (Wing's answer to Wicker Park's annual "Around the Coyote Art Festival"). We did ok. Didn't pull the crowd we did the first time we played the Cabaret and the owner was keeping track. I went around the bar with the hat at the end of the night because we didn't charge a cover. One table told me that Team Satan made their night but we didn't make a plug nickel.

1997

1/16 OFF-WHITE HOUSE
We played the OFF-White House after the Big Horse show with Lord Of Lightening and Gone Daddy Finch was cancelled due to blizzardy conditions. Gone Daddy Finch never made it out of Ohio and I'm not really sure what Lord of Lightning was about. It might have just been one guy. Anyway, Wing and I spent the afternoon digging out Mark Morton's van so we could get to the show, but it was all for naught. The night before, after a show at Lounge Ax, I stumbled upon Mike Dixon and his friend Keith Blaise in a 4am bar on Ashland where we drank and drank. The combination of the subsequent hangover and the van dig-out the next day caused me to almost pass out during our set, which was short and to the point and if I remember correctly, awesome. It was the kind of show only adversity can create.

4/?/97 OFF-WHITE HOUSE
Easter Sunday. With Chapstik? Don't remember. Some Texas band, I think it was Chapstik. That one guy, the Chapstik manager, was a nutter. I remember him making a shitload of spaghetti for the band. Don't remember much about the show except that I have a recording of it and it's pretty funny. Wing was in top audience-baiting form that night.

 

7/3 LOUNGE AX
With REO Speedealer, Tedio Boys & I Love Rich. This was in the John Peters era of Team Satan. Lori Kolb had gone back to Richmond but then came back. T-Bux was chasing tail back to Virginy so we brought in Petes. We actually played one show with an all male version of the Team with Petes on bass. That would have been at the Big Horse but I don't remember the when or the who with.

10/31 OFF-WHITE HOUSE
Halloween Show. There's a video of this or otherwise I would have remembered very little. Bad Ronny is given the microphone to substitute his own twisted lyrics or "raps" over classic Team Satan riffs. This theme would continue the following month when the Team would provide backing support for Bad Ronny's "Television Rap Opera".

 

11/9 BEAT KITCHEN
Backing Band for "Television Rap Opera Part II" by Ronald "Bad Ronny" Simsic. Where to begin with Bad Ronny? Shit. Wing and Kolb were working at Beat Kitchen at this point and that's where they met the white rapper from Detroit; Bad Ronnie. He wrote a rap opera about TV and had three separate performances at the Beat Kitchen where three different bands backed him up. I didn't see the other two because I had to work, but the one Team Satan did was pretty silly and I have video proof of it.

 

12/12 BEAT KITCHEN
w/ Grand Theft Auto & Fakir. The legendary Spot was crashing at Wing's house during a solo tour, so we brought him along for this BK show.

 

? POPS ON CHICAGO
w/ who? Good question. Pistol Whipped perhaps. Don't remember much about this show except that it wasn't very good. Pop's was kind of a hot mess all around. The owners liked their freakin' booze, that's for sure. I think Pop's eventually burned down.

 

11/20 BEAT KITCHEN
w/ The Renfields and probably someone else. I can't remember.

 

11/12 PHYLLIS MUSICAL INN
This was the musical part of Mike Wing's "Monkeys and Frogs" paint exhibit at Phyllis'. I think we were the only band.

 

1998

2/13 BIG HORSE
w/ Redneck Exorcist and Neutral Drop. Another Big Horse show. It probably went down something like this: Load out from the practice space in Uptown, drive to Wicker Park, load into Big Horse, drink, play, drink, load out, drive back to Uptown, load into the practice space, drink until the sun comes up, sleep a few hours and go to work. We had that shit down pretty tight.

3/3 FIRESIDE BOWL
w/ Candy Snatchers, The Daggers and The Mashers. People bled at this show. Fortunately, it was the Candy Snatchers.

 

4/17 BIG HORSE
w/ Proletariat Seven and Fakir . See above.

 

8/18 BIG HORSE
w/ Burn the Priest and Daisy Farm. We get a chance to redeem ourselves for BTP. Did we? Who knows? Got this one on video.

 

9/5 BIG HORSE
With Redneck Exorcist and judging by the shitty flyer I made for the show (see below) "special guest."

 

10/12 EMPTY BOTTLE
w/ Brenda Kahn, Starless, and Tekluvi. Our last show!!! Or so we thought at time. Features the triumphant return of Todd "T-Bux" Uzel replacing the recently skipped town, John Peters. The original line-up reunites. How special.

 

1999

6/24 LOUNGE AX
w/ Mustache, Speedealer. In an attempt to resuscitate the ailing Team, T-Bux organized this show for Team Satan's death rattle. Truly the end of the band.

Team Satan Press

"DEVIL MADE US DO IT" b/w "1996"

The cover art is pretty awesome, the music heavy, but the vocals ruin it for me. Two songs, wow!!—PUNK PLANET


Damn, Satan has a team and I wasn't asked to play. What does a bastard have to do? Well, apparently, get drunk and skronk your nuts—or rather gonads—off into a boom box. The First Principle of The Conservation of Lyrics is also fully in effect on these two droning, bluesy rockers.—TAIL SPINS


Team Satan's wicked, distorted sludge-rock on "Devil Made Us Do It" b/w "1996" churns back geysers of muddy riffage like a monster truck, sinking in quicksand with the pedal-to-the-metal in a desperate attempt to escape from going under... —ILLINOIS ENTERTAINER


This is GAUNTish and that's a good thing. Plus, they're funny.—ZEEN


I think this is kinda boring. I think that if I was at a show with this band, it would make me want to go outside. I would be really annoyed if this were the opening band for a band that I wanted to see. "The devil made us do it?" I'm very indifferent to this. This sounds like something that would have been around alot five to seven years ago.
RATING: Like, four. No, three. Four, three, something like that.—THROW RUG

JUNIOR WING EP

Judging from their Jr. Wing EP, Team Satan is on a mission to bring back the mosh pit—and success is only a few gigs away. They've got a great name and an old-fashioned punk rock sound—minimalist yet kinetic chord progressions, rapid fire vocals and profanity buried underneath incredibly low production values. The formula works, and is sorely missed on the EP's third track, which flirts with a more accessible sound, less volatile identity. Don't expect any details about the songs though—not even the titles are included.—ILLINOIS ENTERTAINER


Compelling lyrics, griping guitar work, competent drumming, pounding bass makes this the best record of all time...you know, the Devil made me write that...—REGLAR WIGLAR


This is the kind of weird thing to review... because it says it was "recorded in the basement of the OFF-White House sometime in the summer of 1997." The weird part about that is that I saw Team Satan play a live show in the basement of a house which may have been off-white in the summer of 1997. I don't recall the house's color. However, this recording doesn't sound like a live show. (no crowd sounds) so I don't think it was the same night. This four piece punk band has the chops and the fun. I'd like to see them perform again. This cassette shows that their songs are tasty, but I can't recommend anyone buy this. Unfortunately, the sound quality of this cassette is very poor. I hope they put something out with better producution values because they are good.—TAILSPINS

TEAM SATAN 1996-1999

Team Satan bears many similarities to the early Misfits on this lo-fi collection of 25 short songs about evil. But unlike the punk-metal legends, it's hard to tell whether it's simply a parody. "Sista' Satan" has a beach party guitar riff a la the Thrill Kill Kult, and a female vocalist offering a pretty catchy chorus every parent dreads hearing from their daughter, "Satan has a sister and she looks just like me." This group needs to elevate quality over quantity.—ILLINOIS ENTERTAINER


Hella good!—ROCTOBER

 

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